


The starving Artist that wanted to paint the City Mad

by sweet_Gothamite



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series, Gotham (TV)
Genre: Gotham season 4x18 spoilers, Joker ships nygmobblepot, Kind of a character study, Multi, POV Oswald Cobblepot, The Dark Knight reference, but in dialogue form, how did Joker end up being the mob boss we see in Suicide Squad?, just a lot of references really, plus witty insults cuz thats just how rogues converse, sass!wald
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 21:15:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14387259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweet_Gothamite/pseuds/sweet_Gothamite
Summary: After watching the "Joker Fish" commercial on TV, Penguin knows something about the Joker´s modus operandi has drastically changed. So he demands a meeting with the Clown Prince of Crime, a business proposal in mind...How does the Anarchist Joker we know and love fit together with the silly schemes in the Batman Animated Series? How does Joker become the mob boss kind of criminal we see in Suicide Squad? This is my shot at combining all these gems of different Jokers.





	The starving Artist that wanted to paint the City Mad

**Author's Note:**

> There´s a massive Spoiler that has very casually snuck his way into this fic, so if you haven´t watched Gotham season 4 episode 18 yet or want to avoid spoilers regarding the question "Will Jerome become the Joker?", don´t do this to you.
> 
> Watch the episode and then revisit this fic if you like ;)

The television comes to life with a buzz, and at first there´s only snow, but then the images of a black and white comercial start dancing over the polished screen.  
A shrill voice that undoubtedly belongs to no one other than the self-declared Clown Princess of Crime brakes through the speakers.

"They´re finny and funny and oh so delish! They´re joyful and jelly Joker Fish!"

"Someone turn down the volume!", Oswald spits. His henchmen hurry to get to the switch on the machine, while the Penguin, kingpin of Gotham's underworld, remains seated in the throne-like chair behind his desk and massages his temples with an annoyed scowl on his face.  
Suddenly, the almost unbearably innocent background music of the commercial screeches to a halt and breaks off completely.  
The Joker shoves his face as close to the camera as possible.

"...Coming to your local store!", he announces, "Just as soon as that nasty ol´ Mr Francis decides to give me my legal part of the profits!!"

Penguin shakes his head dispprovingly. "He can´t be serious about this."

"Well, duh", one of his henchmen has the audacity to answer. "That´s why he calls himself the Joker, Boss."  
Unfortunately, these are the last words the man will ever speak, since Oswald takes his paper knife and throws it in a way that the sharp utensil bores into the henchman´s neck.  
Blood starts spilling from the wound like a macabre fountain, and Penguin makes a dismissive gesture, silently ordering the others to take care of their collegue´s unsightly corpse.

"I´m going out. Tell Johanna she´s on her own handling the club tonight, will you?"  
Although it is an order rather than a question, the remaining henchmen nodd with anxious eagerness and get to work.  
Oswald ignores them as he takes his cane from where it´d leaned against his desk and smoothes the creases out of his impeccably tailored coat. 

As soon as he´s left the club, the blue glow of the neon umbrella sign still surrounding him like a halo, he takes out his mobile phone and dials the number that he possesses for absolutely no other reason than that Joker himself added it to his contacs some time ago.

"We need to talk."

Normally he doesn´t waste his time with this loony anarchist, but Oswald is a strategist, the city of Gotham his chess board, and it is high time he puts the knight that is the Clown Prince of Crime to good use.  
It´s worth a try.  
After all, risks must be taken in business.

 

~oOo~

 

"You failed."

Joker just cackles. "I know right? And that shark... I´m tellin ya, it was a real pain in the ass. Literally."

"Ugh! I don´t want to know." Penguin shakes his head. "The point is that..."

"Yeah, what´s the point? What´s the point? Is there a point?!"  
Joker invades his personal space, kreeping near with a barley held back, deadly energy like a panther surrounding its pray, grimacing with each repetition of the question.

"I´ll tell you once you muster the courtesy to remove your knife from my throat and take two steps back", Penguin spits out. 

Joker blinks, expression almost confused.  
"Uhm..." Then his signiture grin spreads back across his pale face. "Matter of habit! Sorry, pal!"

He pockets his knife and dances the demanded two steps backwards, ending in a ridiculous bow.

Penguin clears his throat pointedly.  
"Listen, I knew you would fail. From the moment you started airing that ridiculous Joker Fish commercial, I knew that however this was going to end, it would not be with you as a multimillionaire."

Joker´s face contorts, and for a moment Oswald can almost feel the blade of the jagged knife back on his skin, but then he sees Joker sigh in self-pity, as he theatrically leans back againt his wing chair, bringing a hand to his forehead. 

"Thanks for rubbing that in, happy feet. Is that why you really came here, to see me in sad clown mode? And here I was thinking we were finally going to do yattzi night!"

Penguin shakes his head.  
"This guy in unbelievable", he thinks to himself. "Why am I doing this again?  
I could be sitting on the chaise lounge at home, holding a reading Edward in my arms, watching as Martin draws astonishingly accurate pictures of stabbed people on the coffee table..."

"... and I didn´t just fail, I failed MISERABLY!", Joker rambles on, "The fucking GCPD is out on the streets searchin´ for me; I got bite wounds all over my beautiful ass; I owe Crane for modifiying my Joker toxin to affect only the fish... AND I pissed off Harls! Can you believe she CHOSE to sleep over at Ivy´s instead of here with me? Laughable! What is she trying to prove, her INDEPENDENCY?! There IS no such THING!!!"

Faster than Penguin´s eyes can follow, Joker pulls out his purple gun and fires off three shots into the nearest wall, where a graffiti smiley face decorates the corrugated iron.  
The echo of the shots has barely stopped resounding throughout the warehouse when Joker slumps down on the wing chair, curling in on himself, really looking the part of a sad clown now.

"Having fun along the way is the only thing that really matters... and I did! But..." he sighs theatrically, "just to buoy up spirits... why can´t my plans work out as planned just once?"

Not without caution, Oswald approaches him.  
"I thought you were supposed to be a genius." 

"Well, mad genius is the key word here, Pengy", Joker shoots back, holding up a scolding finger.

"Where did you...?" Oswald sighs exasperatedly. "You picked that nickname up from Ivy, didn´t you? I´ll have a serious word with her, too, later."  
He shakes his head while trying to get his thoughts back on track.  
"Anyway, if you think I dragged myself to this part of town just to listen to your pity party, you´re gravely mistaken. I wanted to tell you how surprised I was when I saw your broadcast on TV earlier."

Joker frowns up at him. "You do realize I´m such a sucker for bein´ on that flimmer box that I´d literally wear it instead of a head on my shoulders if that was anatomically possible?"  
His eyes light up as a no doubt horrible idea crosses his mind. "Hey, I should totally use that in another sceme some day!"

Penguin rolls his eyes indignantly. "Focus, Joker. The broadcast itself wasn´t what caught my attention." He puts more weight on his cane to lean conspiratorially closer to the other man.  
"The blackmailing of that paper pusher - Mr. Francis, was it? The Millions of dollars you planned on making by exploiting copyright law. Why?"

"What do you mean why?", the clown snaps. "Does your boyfriend need an explicit reason to rob a bank? Maybe I just wanted to ditch my lame ol´ Joker mobile for a purple lambourghini, or maybe I wanted to get Harls a negligee made out of diamonds! Who cares?!"

"I care", Penguin responds smoothly. "For you´ve never been one to care about wealth before, old friend." He tilts his head. "In fact, I distinctly remember you burning huge piles of cash just to send a message."

"And I might do that again tomorrow!", Joker exclaims. "It´s just... today I was feeling like I wanted more of my life. Or didn´t I? Sometimes I get confused..." He comically gnaws on his bottom lip.  
"Being the classiest criminal in this entire city just doesn´t feel as satisfiying as it should when you live in garbage warehouses, eating fast food everyday, patching the holes in your coat yourself! The only company a nagging girlfriend and stupid-as-fuck goons who complain about their carefully arranged costumes! Not when I know I could live like..."

"Me?", Penguin proposes.

"I was gonna say a king", Joker deadpans. "But same difference, I guess." 

Oswald can´t prevent a smug smile from forming on his lips.  
"So the anarchist who wants nothing but to paint this city mad is sick of the lifestile of a starving artist, huh?"

"Careful, King Dedede. I might still decide I want to find out whether Penguins can fly given the right motivation." Joker mimicks throwing something off a cliff and does a ridiculous whistling sound to indicate the fall.

"No need to get defensive, old friend", Penguin assures, unfazed. "As far as I´ve come to understand, you want to keep your... agenda while at the same time improving on your income, working conditions and lifestyle. Well, I think I know just the right employment for you."

Joker looks up at him with a frown. "And what would that be?"

Penguin drops his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "How would you like to get in on the mob game yourself?"

"You´re joking", the clown snaps. Then, a little more quizzically, he adds. "You are joking, right? Maybe you´re not. I know a joke when I see one."

"I´m not", Penguin clarifies, voice deadpan.

"But ... WHY?", Joker blurts out in confusion. "We´ve been through this a thousand times!"  
He puts up his hands and mimicks quotation marks. "Penguin´s a builder, Joker´s a destroyer. It´s just the way things are."

"It's the way they've been until now, yes", Oswald explains with all the patience he can muster. "But people change. I know I've changed. Also, since when did the Clown Prince of Crime ever shy away from breaking with conventions?"

The Joker´s smile extends in a way unique to him, making him look strikingly similar to a leering hyena.  
"Never, Pengy. Never. But how come you, the gentleman criminal, have suddenly changed your mind like that? Joining forces with little ol´me. What´s in it for you?"

"Well, there´s been some recurring inconvenience with Sofia Falcone..."

"Ah, I´ve heard. The wicked bitch of the west, Harls likes to call her."

Penguin blinks, amused.  
"How fitting. Anyway, she´s brought the western destrict of the city under her control and all my attemps at getting this part of my kingdom back have failed spectacularly.  
So maybe, instead of trying to retrieve it, I should focus on tearing that destrict away from her.  
Whoever then goes on to reign it, is not of my concern."

Joker batts his lashes. "And ... that lucky fella would be me, huh?"

"Indeed."

"But I hope you´re not stupid enough to think I´d work for you or even be loyal to you, Pengs. The only ring I´ll ever kiss is my own."

"As a matter of fact, I didn´t expect anything else", Oswald says with an eye-roll.

"Hmm", the clown taps himself on the chin repeatedly.  
"Then why not choose Eddie-boy?"

Oswald sputters, caught off guard.  
"Wh- wha- excuse you? What about him?!"

"Why recruit me when there´s another criminal mastermind literally sleeping in your bed on a daily basis?"

"Okay, you need to stop obsessing over our relationship so much. It´s scary even by your standards!", Oswald snaps. "Edward and I are adults and know better than to let our personal lifes intertwine too much with our illegal-"

"Yeah, yeah, spare me the crap. I literally couldn´t stop obsessing over you guys even if I tried to, cause I´ve been shipping you since forever and a day. Don´t I get any appreciation for that?"

"No", Oswald replies dryly.

"Fine. Anywhoo, there´s still the issue that as I see it - correct me if I´m wrong - it would be much more convenient for you to have your darling Riddleman take over Sofia Falcone´s slice of the Gotham cake. Why don´t you, Ozzie?"

Under the piercing stare of Joker´s toxic green eyes, Penguin cleares his throat to play out time and measures his words carefully before answering.  
"Well, while you are correct about Ed being a brilliant mastermind, that is exactly what would get in the way of him leading any organization.  
I mean, the man literally lives on caffeine and cocaine only whilst planning out his schemes and heists. He locks himself in his office and forgets the rest of the world exists. He-", Oswald stops himself before he can ramble on, blushing slightly as he realizes he´s already said far more than he´d intended to. He shakes his head resolutely.  
"Someone who regularly forgets to feed himself is not fit to rule over a part of the kingdom that is Gotham city. And frankly, I don´t even think he´d want to."

Joker nodds exaggeratedly. "And what makes you think I am? Fit to rule, that is, not lacking in self preservation instinct - got that covered."

"Well, I-", Oswald stops himself before he can admit that he doesn´t know whether the clown is. That he is taking a wild card with this business proposal. That with every passing minute of this conversation, the desire to simply go home to his family grows stronger and stronger.

"You are not Jerome", he finally wills himself to say, and watches alertly as Joker´s expression darkens. "Despite your similarities, you´re a different person.  
And unlike him, you have never worked together with me in all those years. We´ve avoided each other ever since you declared this city your amousement mile."  
Joker grumbles affirmatively, but lets Penguin carry on.  
"Your plans may seem primarily mad to Batman and the GCDP, but they are also of genius quality - and coming from Edward, that assessment means a lot, though it didn´t take his pointing out for me to realize it."

"If they are - as your beanpole lovebird put it - so genius, then why was it so obvious to you that my Joker Fish coup would fail?", Joker gets out through gritted teeth.

"Simple." Oswald shrugs nonchalantly. "You lack experience in this particular niche of criminal activity. You´ve only ever used your brilliant mind and organization skills to destroy things, remember? But don´t worry, I can teach you the basics. I´m sure you´ll pick it up in no time."

"I AM a fast learner. Harls once tought me how to burp the alphabet in under a minute! Gosh, I miss that annoying lil ray of sunshine already..."

"Joker?"

"Huh?"

"Focus", Penguin says with remarkably stretched patience.

"Oh. Yeah. Right."

What the hell is Oswald doing?!  
He inwardly wrings his hands while continuing.  
"Of course we would have to agree on firm borders, leaving no doubt which territory belongs to whom. And in your own realm, you´ll be able to rule as you see fit, much more powerful than you´ve ever been hiding in your warehouses. Instead of those low-payed goons, you will be assisted by first class hitmen who´ll be happy to wear the costumes you chose for them. And if you lose your temper and shoot one of them in the head? There´ll be another one happy to fill his place in a blink of an eye."

"Hmm... you sure know how to butter ´em up, Pengs."

"Don´t call me tha- urgh!"  
Oswald gives up on his protest the momet it leaves his mouth and settles on an eye-roll instead while holding out his gloved hand.  
"Do we have an agreement?"

"Hmmmmm..."  
Joker pretends to think it through for a whole of three more seconds, then he enthusiastically takes Oswald´s hand and squeezes it.  
"Bet your sweet, black-and-white ass we do."

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and/ or Kudos would make me veeeeeeery happy!  
> But most importantly: Thanks for reading! :)


End file.
